Tuesday, January 01, 2008
♥ Rescue
I am feeling so lazy n I think the best freaking adjective I can describe myself would b somehow like sluggish… laziness can kill your smallest dream that is so close to gratifying… N I feel that whatever life I can proudly proclaim is slowly taking it away from me pitilessly… N not to mention youth that is so precious now N I am here squander it tactlessly…I hate my first day of the New Year to start off being like a drifter n I glad carol call to have a little sweet session with me n gen past lunch catch up really help loads…
I am so blessed to have met people like them… because of the current state I am… I feel that I dun really deserve such considerated pplS… I dunno how many foolish times I have turned them down which was never my real intention… n to the peoples who are so closed yet so near especially my mum who have take in all my annoying pretexts of not waking up or just struck In my room n not do anything for the whole dayS of countless times as a silent resistance against my dad… have never utter any complaint n scold me for the untidiness n sheer laziness… because I would have slapped her awake if she is my daughter…. n because of her I wan to change for the better in 2008… she is by far the greatest women I wan to be…
The long cherished talk I have with carol make me noe a lot yet make me feel that I somehow absorbed too much at one go hence nothing went in or I focus too much on my resentment… I always thought that my dad have for the utmost time ruined my holiday or the life that I should be enjoying that I hate myself for starting to detesting him or almost anything that he object had never failed to get in my way… n on the whole make me become a angry kid… I thank U carol for making me realize that maybe he just express his love in the wrong way N I reciprocate in the wrong way too… n I noe if I continue to be like that… one day I will regret being someone I never want to be… like u said I should be really worry if he stop doing tt…
I almost thought I have become a goner…
I am so blessed to have met people like them… because of the current state I am… I feel that I dun really deserve such considerated pplS… I dunno how many foolish times I have turned them down which was never my real intention… n to the peoples who are so closed yet so near especially my mum who have take in all my annoying pretexts of not waking up or just struck In my room n not do anything for the whole dayS of countless times as a silent resistance against my dad… have never utter any complaint n scold me for the untidiness n sheer laziness… because I would have slapped her awake if she is my daughter…. n because of her I wan to change for the better in 2008… she is by far the greatest women I wan to be…
The long cherished talk I have with carol make me noe a lot yet make me feel that I somehow absorbed too much at one go hence nothing went in or I focus too much on my resentment… I always thought that my dad have for the utmost time ruined my holiday or the life that I should be enjoying that I hate myself for starting to detesting him or almost anything that he object had never failed to get in my way… n on the whole make me become a angry kid… I thank U carol for making me realize that maybe he just express his love in the wrong way N I reciprocate in the wrong way too… n I noe if I continue to be like that… one day I will regret being someone I never want to be… like u said I should be really worry if he stop doing tt…
I almost thought I have become a goner…
11:43 PM